Its times like these, I wish. I wish my were insides were made from steel. Immune to pain. Time does heal all. I’ve learnt that once before. But a second time around, the pain too little too familiar. A somewhat repetitive cycle. stuck in what was the worst parts of my life. Something so familiar. Something so haunting. Back to day one. Back to forgetting. You’d think experiences as such would teach you life lessons. Clearly it doesn’t. It will take a miracle for me to learn anything from this. But I’m hoping. Hoping that once again, I can look back and smile at the memories. Make fun of the boy I once was. This time will come. All in good time. For now I put my feelings aside. Put my feelings aside and smile to the crowds.

Time to let go of the past.

Why can’t I just listen to the angels.

How to live in the present; when truly the past has caused you so much grief and you know deep down the future will be no different? I say live in the present but never forget the past and prepare yourself for the future. 

Yesterday has already been told. Today will soon unfold. Tomorrow can fuck off.

In order to get what you want; sacrifices need to be made. Boundaries need to be pushed. In order to get what you want, let limits only be made the moment the goal has been attained.

This last year I was high above the clouds. This time around I look back at what was. The sting still present. Every day brings me a little more strength. Every day brings me closer to forgetting to forgiving. Time does heal. I’ve realised some things need more time then others. But I’m recovering. Not only am I recovering, but I’m learning. Some days harder then others. It reassures me to know that days like this only come and go. The space between them spacing out wider and longer. A sign that things are getting better. With the new year comes new resolutions. New resolutions and forgotten pasts. 2011 was one tough year to get by. A growing year to say the least. 

I hate Christmas.